Tl 175 pill

TL,DR: My boyfriend thinks the only interesting mode of conversation is active discussion and he gets upset/frustrated with me when I try to disengage from discussions
Hey guys, I (21f) have been having a recurring argument with my boyfriend (24m) and I wanted to get everyone's perspective on how we can resolve things :) For context, we've been together for a little over 2 years and have been living together for about 2 years as well. We usually get along really well, but this is a recurring point of conflict and I'm at my wit's end with how to resolve things.
So basically, my boyfriend loves discussing things. To him, this is the only interesting way to have a conversation whereas I also like to have light-hearted conversations about how the day went, ect.
Anyways, I don't have the bandwidth to always discuss something controversial. I find it tiring and it makes me feel like there is discord, which I just don't want 24/7. For example, my boyfriend and I were looking into US elections today, and eventually we struck a conversation (specifically about abortion rights). This went on for about an hour and a half, peacefully and constructively. We eventually ended things at this point:
Him: I believe abortion is an important right, but it's not something we should condone as society. In fact, it should be punished (like getting tickets for speeding) Me: Abortions aren't easy; women are already dissuades enough by compromising their physical, mental and financial situation in case of an abortion. Him: But if we made a pill that cost 10€ and would let a women discreetly abort without any physical/mental repercussions, shouldn't we punish people to dissuade them?
At which point I wanted to stop discussing because I had to leave for work in about 45 minutes and still had to get ready. So I tell him I want to stop discussing and get up, but he follows me around the house trying to continue the topic. Eventually, I lose my patience and tell him to just stop talking to me; I will be working until 10:30pm and I'd just like a moment of peace before I leave for work.
But he just won't leave it. He now shifts to the topic of how dismissive I am for being unable to continue a simple discussion, and how much I'd fail in a work environment where any type of discussion would be required. Which I think is really uncalled for, so I basically pack my things and leave the house 30mins early because I just need a break from this conversation and I can't be left alone in my own home, even if I asked for it.
Of course, this is recounted from my perspective, so please don't be too harsh on him because obviously I'm biased. I tried to recount the events as neutrally as I could. We usually get along well; it's just that we go through the motions of me trying to end a discussion somewhat regularly and things usually end in this way. I don't enjoy it, and I'd like to resolve this point of conflict. So: What can we do in order to better understand each other in order to stop these things from happening?

My [M29] girlfriend [F35] and I recently found out she is pregnant. I never wanted kids for several reasons, for one I've been struggling with mental health issues, especially depression, as long as I can remember. My dad is diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ASD. I'm also showing indications that those diagnoses might be applicable in my case. I've been in therapy before but am currently waiting for a spot for formal diagnosis to find out what combination of therapy and medication might be the best to go. Since both disorders are thought to be highly hereditary I've never wanted a child to go through what I've experienced, neither in regard to my own struggles nor relating to the difficult relationship I have with my own dad. In addition to that the current situation seems to be incredibly uncertain, with the looming climate crisis, the risk of armed conflincts and economic uncertanties. I also just started my phD, so am quite busy with work right now which is difficult enough as is regarding my personal dispositions.
I've been quite clear about these issues when we got together 5 months ago. She on the other side has had a wish to have children for a long time. Since she just came out of an abusive marriage rather shortly before we started dating she didn't want to focus on that for the time being even warming up to the idea of a life without being a mother. In consequence we agreed to pursue a relationship but to end things as soon as she feels that she wants to have children. She even insinuated to have an abortion if it would happen in our relationship by telling me about her willingness to persue this path in case she would have gotten pregnant by her abusive ex or of negative results from prenatal diagnostics. Though, she is going back on that telling me that she didn't think about this possibility in regards to our relationship. Due to having bad reactions to the pill in the past she refused to use hormonal contraception. So we relied on a combination of condom use and natural contraception. I wanted to rely on condoms more, however she just doesn't like them. I caved on that topic, since she was having even riskier sex with her ex and for more than 5 years and nothing happend (I know how stupid that was, no need to point it out). Needless to say this failed and we found out she's pregnant about a month ago.
In Germany where I'm from you can have abortions up to the 12th week after inception, so we got about 2 weeks left for the final decision. However, it's becoming quite clear, that she doesn't want to go that route despite me urging her to do so. I understand, that it's not my place to insist and push her to do something she simply doesn't want to do or doesn't feel is right and I'm willing to take full responsibility for the child if it's being born, both financially as well as emotionally. But I've also been struggling with the way she went about the topic. So far we've had two in depth discussions, for both of which to happen i needed to escalate the situation. She mostly talks to friends and family about her decision process but only very little to me, arguing she can't change my position anyways, which is kind of true tbh.
This makes it very difficult for me to maintain a positive picture of the relationship and the prospect of co-parenting. I'm very slow to adopt deep feelings, so even though i like her and under normal cicrumstances enjoy spending time with her I'm decidedly not at a point where i can seriously speak of love and find it hard to imagine being in a lifelong romantic commitment to her. In addition to that we had kind of a rough start with her father dying the day after we decided to pursue a relationship.
I'm kind of in over my head with this, I really don't want to be a dad and especially not at this point in my life where I'm just starting to get things in order after a couple of very difficult years. I feel like she's violating a very fundamental personal boundary by forcing me into a life we agreed she wouldn't put onto me. Despite that we actually were having a good relationship so far with very healthy communication (basically we don't fight but discuss arising issues in a respectful and empathetic manner). Still I'm thinking about breaking things off in terms of our relationship. My parents were harbouring resentments for each other due to differing opinions on existential decisions and I fear I might put a similar burden on this child if i stayed with her.
So WIBTA for breaking up and try to deal with my resentments in order to create an amicable relationship for co-parenting?
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tl;dr: My [M29] girlfriend [F35] is pregnant and most likely will keep the child. I feel she didn't respect my boundaries by acting against previous arrangements and not including me in the decision process.
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EDIT: Just to make it clear I'm willing to take full responsibility for my actions and be there for the child if she keeps it, both financially as well as in being a present dad.

TL;DR - The production company want all meds only to be in quantities needed for during the concert and to be in sealed, original bottles that are labeled with the prescription info, plus a written prescription from the physician, and say they can request photo ID to verify all of this.
(Not sure how much this matters but I’m in the US). Also, just as a quick side note, I technically don’t think it’s the venue’s policy but rather the company (promowest productions) who is putting on the show, but here is the wording from their website:
Under website’s FAQs:
Can I bring medication into the show?
We recommend that if a prescription medication is necessary you only bring the medication in a quantity appropriate to the amount of time you will be visiting. Please bring it in a sealed package with the printed prescription label. If at all possible, please bring a copy of the written prescription. Be aware that photo identification may be requested by security or authorities upon entry.
Uh, TSA isn’t even that strict? And I have significant health issues (purchased ADA seating for this show so will be in my manual wheelchair) and take 23 different medications on a scheduled basis (but will need to take about 5 of those during the time that we are there) as well as will bring and likely need several as needed meds - again all prescribed. I can’t carry that many original bottles with me for a multitude of reasons.
1) Only bring as much as you need for while you’re there: Okay - cool - where do you expect me to store the rest of my 90 day supply of each of those meds since you only want me to bring that one pill BUT yet still in the original container that has the rx label on it. That’s up to 80 some pills times 5 that you want me to store in my home in unlabeled containers in what, ziplock baggies? Tupperware? Talk about not safe! Also - 2 of my meds are liquid - again where would you like me to squirt the rest of my remaining 900mL of liquid oxycodone so that it can be in the original bottle. And then how do I go about getting it back in? It’s not a traditional opening. It has a valve that only allows a special syringe about the width of a pen to be inserted to suck out the liquid in small amounts since it’s so concentrated. When I travel on planes and go through TSA everything is just in my daily pill boxes for the week with nothing labeled except the liquid oxycodone for obvious reasons. When not traveling, I have a very tiny bottle I keep it in since 900mL is ridiculous to carry around but it doesn’t have a prescription label so I’d literally only have 60mL in a 900mL bottle. Also - I literally will not be home till the next day so would need larger quantities than just what’s needed during the show, plus my night time and morning pill boxes. Again, taking public transportation so no car to store it in. Had I read this policy before 10pm tonight - the night before the concert - I could have dropped the AM & PM pill boxes off at my parents where I’ll be staying but it never occurred to me to check for a medication policy. I only stumbled upon it when looking up the bag size/type policy.
2) It’s a downtown venue in an inner city at night. All bags must be clear according to their policy. And I am taking public transportation. I am already in a wheelchair so am vulnerable to being mugged anyway. Especially if they see a bunch of pill bottles and such in my bag. People have been shot for way less. Recently read an article on a random sub here that a convenience store robber shot and killed the worker over having to pay $4 and change for something he didn’t feel he should. My meds are worth far more than that and I’d prefer to make it there and back without fear of being shot.
3) What does a “sealed” package of meds mean? I think of sealed meaning like the plastic wrap is still around the lid of a drink.
4) Can they legally ask to see a paper written prescription from my doctor since it has diagnostic information on it? Isn’t that a HIPPA violation?
5) And again - I feel like asking to see my ID and matching it is both a HIPPA and a safety violation. Now the checker has my address and would know where to go to get 90 days worth of meds that have high street value.
The whole thing just feels ableist, wrong, and a violation of my health privacy rights but is it still legal anyway?

TL;DR - They want all meds only in quantities needed for during the concert and to be in sealed, original bottles that are labeled with the prescription info, plus a written prescription from the physician, and can request photo ID to verify all of this.
(Not sure how much this matters but I’m in the US). Also, just as a quick side note, I technically don’t think it’s the venue’s policy but rather the company (promowest productions) who is putting on the show, but here is the wording from their website:
Under website’s FAQs:
Can I bring medication into the show?
We recommend that if a prescription medication is necessary you only bring the medication in a quantity appropriate to the amount of time you will be visiting. Please bring it in a sealed package with the printed prescription label. If at all possible, please bring a copy of the written prescription. Be aware that photo identification may be requested by security or authorities upon entry.
Uh, TSA isn’t even that strict? And I have significant health issues (purchased ADA seating for this show so will be in my manual wheelchair) and take 23 different medications on a scheduled basis (but will need to take about 5 of those during the time that we are there) as well as will bring and likely need several as needed meds - again all prescribed. I can’t carry that many original bottles with me for a multitude of reasons.
1) Only bring as much as you need for while you’re there: Okay - cool - where do you expect me to store the rest of my 90 day supply of each of those meds since you only want me to bring that one pill BUT yet still in the original container that has the rx label on it. That’s up to 80 some pills times 5 that you want me to store in my home in unlabeled containers in what, ziplock baggies? Tupperware? Talk about not safe! Also - 2 of my meds are liquid - again where would you like me to squirt the rest of my remaining 900mL of liquid oxycodone so that it can be in the original bottle. And then how do I go about getting it back in? It’s not a traditional opening. It has a valve that only allows a special syringe about the width of a pen to be inserted to suck out the liquid in small amounts since it’s so concentrated. When I travel on planes and go through TSA everything is just in my daily pill boxes for the week with nothing labeled except the liquid oxycodone for obvious reasons. When not traveling, I have a very tiny bottle I keep it in since 900mL is ridiculous to carry around but it doesn’t have a prescription label so I’d literally only have 60mL in a 900mL bottle. Also - I literally will not be home till the next day so would need larger quantities than just what’s needed during the show, plus my night time and morning pill boxes. Again, taking public transportation so no car to store it in. Had I read this policy before 10pm tonight - the night before the concert - I could have dropped the AM & PM pill boxes off at my parents where I’ll be staying but it never occurred to me to check for a medication policy. I only stumbled upon it when looking up the bag size/type policy.
2) It’s a downtown venue in an inner city at night. All bags must be clear according to their policy. And I am taking public transportation. I am already in a wheelchair so am vulnerable to being mugged anyway. Especially if they see a bunch of pill bottles and such in my bag. People have been shot for way less. Recently read an article on a random sub here that a convenience store robber shot and killed the worker over having to pay $4 and change for something he didn’t feel he should. My meds are worth far more than that and I’d prefer to make it there and back without fear of being shot.
3) What does a “sealed” package of meds mean? I think of sealed meaning like the plastic wrap is still around the lid of a drink.
4) Can they legally ask to see a paper written prescription from my doctor since it has diagnostic information on it? Isn’t that a HIPPA violation?
5) And again - I feel like asking to see my ID and matching it is both a HIPPA and a safety violation. Now the checker has my address and would know where to go to get 90 days worth of meds that have high street value.
The whole thing just feels ableist, wrong, and a violation of my health privacy rights but is it still legal anyway?

First of all I appreciate anyone willing to take the time to help out.
I unexpectedly had a positive urine sample for opiates, which is at the lab now to confirm or deny. I’m awaiting the lab results.
This is an unexpected false-positive. I’ve never had an opiate drug in my life, the only thing I can think of that would’ve caused this is the poppy-seeded bread I ate the night before. It was 1 sandwich with bread that had poppyseeds in it (I didn’t know beforehand that poppyseeds can lead to this). I also took a Cetirizine allergy pill the morning of the test.
The doctor insisted that poppy seeds would never cause a false positive and that those would’ve indicated THC, not opiates. The company’s policy is that re-tests aren’t allowed.
I really need this internship both for experience and for income during this summer before my last year of college. I’m really concerned and frustrated that the lab test might come back positive. If so, are there any recommended next steps that anyone could share? The doctor briefly mentioned going to HR to plead my case. I’m just not sure what to do here.
TL;DR - Important internship gave a urine test, was a false-positive for opiates. Ate poppyseeds the night before. If the lab concludes that it’s indeed positive for opiates, what next steps can I take despite the company’s no re-test policy?
Any advice is greatly appreciated

Hi, I've got an honest question. "Am I enough"? It sounds like a question that belongs in "Am I the Asshole" or "Forever Alone" But I'm neither an Incel, nor a Virgin. I know I'm not "Forever Alone"... but sometimes a string of short relationships with a long romantic slump between each relationship, can make it seem like I'm Forever Alone.
So, that's kind of where I'm at. About a year ago, I was dumped. It was a 2 year relationship. It was the longest and most serious relationship I've had, and I still have not gotten over it emotionally. I feel like I'm at a personal existential crossroads. I liked myself, and was content before the breakup, and before this other person came into my life... but now I'm second guessing my lovability. I'm questioning if I should just look for someone that accepts me as I am, Or if I should go against what makes my life comfortable, and livable, in order to fit the mold that my Ex would prefer that I fit into. I'm refraining from posting this in the Breakups subreddit, because I'm not looking for someone to be my cheerleader and tell me everything's going to be okay. I want to know, from others, that are alone, and are looking for relationships... Am I enough for anyone?, as I am? Or do I need to become someone else in order to appeal to a larger pool of individuals?
So I'm going to give a TLDR; version of my pros and cons. Then I'll expand upon those, and you all can tell me if you think any reasonable person could love me as I am... or if I need to cave to my ex's demands in order to win her... or someone like her [because I really liked her, and want someone just like her, but I'm very resistant to the idea that it's okay to butter someone up, and then write up a list of qualities that your perfect partner would exhibit... and try to force someone to be that ideal person under threat of loneliness].
CONS: Divorced in 2014. Don't have kids, don't want kids, had a vasectomy to insure I don't have kids. Don't want to live with a significant other, and do not want to get married.(+) I am 5'10 and I maintain a weight between 165lbs and 190lbs. I do not exercise or pay much attention to my diet until I start to get closer to 200lbs.(+) I do not cook for myself.(+) I enjoy P0rn before bedtime(+) I am an insomniac that used to take prescriptions for sleep, but since legalization, I now use weed for that.(+) I live with roommates. I plan on buying a house someday, but I'm taking one of my roommates with me.(+) I am not poor, but I'm also not so wealthy that I can just throw money at any hardship that comes up without looking at my budget.(+) I have had many hobbies and interests, but as I grow older, I have less time and energy to put towards them. I also have less interest in them.(+) I don't like watching sports or talking about them. I do own a Gaming PC/VR and a bunch of different Consoles, but I don't play them often unless I have someone to play them with.
Pros: I'm very Kind, Patient, and Slow to anger. I'm very honest (but not in the "Don't like what I have to say? I'm just being honest" way that some people consider to be honest. I'm honest in the sense that I loath the act of lying, and I learned at a very young age that I'm just not good at it, so I just don't deal in dishonesty, and I don't get a long with dishonest or disingenuous people). I'm a very chill and "go with the flow" kind of person. One positive thing my ex did acknowledge that they appreciated about me, is that I am "Like a human anti-anxiety pill". I have a calming effect on those around me. I have a good sense of humor, that makes use of puns, is referential, spontaneous, and adaptive to those I'm around. I am a left-leaning democratic socialist, but I'm not "too woke to take a joke". I do not road-rage, nor drive like a maniac. I do not hold grudges, and I am not vindictive. I always prefer to forgive, and forget... or in the most extreme cases of slight against me... I prefer to remove myself from the situation. I also know when I am not needed nor wanted. I have no interest in stalking or bread crumbing someone that has dumped me. I'm not a jealous person. I don't pursue flakey, disloyal, untrustworthy people... and I'm not avoidant when it comes to confrontation... so if I'm with you, it's because you've earned my trust, and someone would have to be doing things that are pretty Sus in order to trigger my unfaithfulness Spidey Senses. [I'm not going to tell you to ditch all your guy friends... and I'm not going to get upset if you mention an Ex. I will get perturbed if I have to be constantly compared to an ex though. I wouldn't consider that jealousy... it's more like "I'm not that person, I am me, please don't bring baggage from your past, into the present"].
I'm a very cuddly person [with my partners]. My love language, in order of importance: Physical Touch (Giving and Receiving: Cuddles, Hugs, Head Scratches, Back Rubs, Sex) Quality Time Spent together (It's tough to engage in physical touch without Quality time) Words of Affirmation (I miss telling my partner that she's the best, she's my favorite etc... and hearing the same in return. These are, of course, earned words of praise. I would not say them if they weren't true. It may take a long time before I am comfortable enough to say them with the satisfaction that I'm being 100% honest).
I enjoy watching movies/tv and listening to music with my partner. I enjoy night drives to nowhere in particular. I enjoy musical events. I enjoy amusement parks, museums, zoos, going to the movies, grabbing a meal. I used to make music, and I'm contemplating getting back into that. (I do own a bunch of Synthesizers, Pedals, an Electric Guitar, and a Bass) I ride Motorcycles. I make silly sound fx with my mouth. I make silly voices and I do impressions.
Okay, so that' the Pros and Cons. I didn't go into musical/movie/tv tastes... but I have a pretty eclectic DVD/CD/VHS/Vinyl Collection as well.
Let's expand upon the footnotes I had up above:
Aversion to Marriage and Co-habitation: (I'm not afraid of commitment, nor monogamy, I just go between cycles of introversion and extroversion, and when I'm in my introverted headspace... I cannot live in the same house as my significant other, and I am of the opinion that there's no reason for two people to get married if they're not going to have kids or move in with eachother).
Living situation: Like I said. I currently live with roommates, in a house. One of the roommates is my best friend, and I've roomed with him before. My plan is for the two of us to take advantage of the cheap rent we currently enjoy until we've saved enough to get a place of her own. The only reason I mention this, is that one of the things my ex wants [in addition to me not owning a dog], it to live in my own place... without roommates. I almost lost my best-friend and roommate for good when I got married [and then divorced] I finally have him as a roommate again and It's basically a deal breaker for me... if I can't let him rent a room in my new place when I buy my own house. I'm never getting married... and my Significant other isn't moving in with me... so it's none of their business who I rent rooms in my house too [as long as it's not some horny party-girl]
Fitness: I'm no stranger to Keto, I'm no stranger to the Gym. I just don't bother with strict diet/exercise regiments unless I hit that 195lb mark and I'm looking to get back down to 165-175. (my ex would prefer I goto the gym regularly, because I'm an investment, and she's convinced I'm going to die if I'm not as strict about my health as she is).
Aversion to Cooking: I am not opposed to the thought of following recipes in order to prepare a romantic meal for myself and my partner... but the bottom line is, that I am not a food person, and it's no ones business what/how I eat when my partner isn't there to enjoy the fruits of my kitchen. If I could take a pill that would quell my hunger & provide all the necessary nutrients to support my health, my sleep pattern, and my mental acuity... I would totally opt for that pill. My ex is convinced that all adults should be cooking most of their meals at home, because it saves money, and is healthier. I call bullshit on this. Cooking for one, is not as economical as cooking for 2 or more people. I also work a job with a 45-60 minute commute each way... and when I get to the office... I'm usually dispatched all over the city. It's impractical for me to prepare meals to bring to work cold. I might not be anywhere near the work fridge when hunger strikes (and when Hunger strikes, I need to eat... immediately, because I get headaches and become faint... due to a combination of Long-Covid, Chronic Fatigue, and weariness from my struggles with insomnia). If I cooked all my own food and went to the GYM as often as she would prefer. I'd be losing an hour to the GYM each weekday, and an hour in meal prep [most likely while I'm hungry to the point of headache and brainfog]... and an hour and 1/2 to my commute. I need those two hours a day for rest and relaxation, and if I ever hope to get back into music/sound production... I'm going to want those two hours.
Weed: I wouldn't say I'm a daily weed user, but I am a nightly weed user. I don't identify as a hippy/stoner, nor do I resonate with the stoner lifestyle. For me, it's medicine and I treat it as such. I do not use it recreationally. I only use it at bedtime).
P0rn Consumption: This has been a major sticking point in every relationship I've had. My previous partner was the 1st person I've been with that didn't initially judge me based on my p0rn consumption. In fact, she was a consumer of it as well, and we would sometimes watch it together, and trade our favorite videos and NSFW memes. It was really nice to be able to share those kinds of things with a partner. I never hid my p0rn use from previous partners... but it was a situation where I mentioned it at the start... they weren't into it... I didn't mention it again... and then several months into the relationship my partners would always get restless and start looking for things about me that they could pick apart and dismantle and once they had nothing else to criticize me about... they would come for the p0rn. In some cases I would Quit consuming, and things would go on a bit longer until the relationship naturally ran its course... and in other cases I would Quit consuming... and my partner would constantly shame me and accuse me of consuming it when I had not... (and then they would run away with someone else... and expose themselves as a total hypocrite like my Ex-wife did).
In my most recent relationship, everything was amazing for 2 years. No shaming, No judgement, mutual enjoyment of eachother's company. We shared everything with each other including kinks and p0rn and movies, and music and hope and dreams. I moved 2.5 hours away from friends and family to live closer to her because it was a long-distance relationship. Then she leaves for a summer internship and when she comes back... she dumps me. She asks for "No contact" so the two of us can emotionally move-on without breadcrumbing eachother. I'm not a desperate stalker, so I obliged. 4 months pass, and I no longer want to live in that City away from my friends and family. I break "no contact" when I see her at the Gym, because I want her to know that I'm leaving town for good... and if the thought of running into me in public has ever given her pause about leaving the house and hanging out around town... she no longer needs to worry because I won't be living in that city any more. This breach of "no contact" ends in a weekend fling between the two of us... and then I proceed with my plans to move back. It's when I arrive back in my home town that I get the email from her with all the bulletpoints that she wants in a perfect mate. She basically insinuates that as long as I continue working towards becoming this hypothetical person that she wants... we can see eachother once a month. but... As I'm struggling to give up porn, and develop an exercise routine, and get back into hobbies, and start reading books, and consider cooking for myself... her friendly txt chats and phone calls become less about enjoying the conversation, and less about having movie/TV show watchparties on the internet... and more about her interrogating me about "What did you do today to improve yourself... what are you doing in your everyday life that indicates you're serious about continuous growth?" And I really started to resent this lifestyle that she wants me to live as a pre-requisite to someday being able to call her my Girlfriend again. Eventually she told me "I'm sick of playing Barb the Builder with you" and my response is "I'm not broken, I never asked you to fix me. Do a cost-benefit analysis of our relationship... if I don't bring you Joy anymore... or if that Joy is outweighed by this obsession with molding me into your Fantasy man... then maybe we should actually go our separate ways." And that's what we did. I haven't talked to her since January... And then... a few weeks ago I get drunken texts from her. She still misses me. She still thinks about me just as much as I think about her. She drunkenly says several times "I wish you would just give up porn so we can be together"... And part of me has been so lonely, for so many months... that I'm honestly considering Quitting p0rn... and then breaking no contact to ask "Remember when you drunkenly said you wanted to buy a house near me, in Phoenix... and move... and you wished I would "just Quit Porn so we could be together???" Is that all it will take to get you back?... or Am I going to have to tick off all the other boxes on your "Ideal man" checklist?
It's been 9 days without porn at this point. I'm trying to see if it's really true that the urge to view p0rn goes away after 3 weeks. But part of me wonders if I should just try my best to emotionally move-on... and find someone that's not an over-achiever, and accepts me as I am. I like being a chill person. I like being a calming influence. I hate taking life so seriously. I don't want to be like her. But I do want to be with her... or with someone that treats me the way she used to before she got it in her head that I'm a broken person that needs to be fixed.
What do I do? Am I an unlovable unambitious p0rn addicted loser who is undeserving of love until I fix myself?... Or am I okay the way I am, and I should just move-on and hold-out for someone that appreciates me just the way I am? Do you know anyone that could love someone like me, as I am now?

Helltide mystery chest (best chests to get) cost 175 Cinders they will only show up when you are NEARBY them.
If you just started endgame, look for rares (yellow Sacred/Ancestrial) with ideal stats. TL:DR Critical Chance/DMG & Vulnerability! (check a maxroll guide or a guide in general to see preferred stats for your build.
Find a good rare Find a good legendary aspect If needed roll a better stat onto the rare using the occultist Apply the legendary aspect to the rare to make it into a legendary Upgrade at the blacksmith as needed Enjoy a really powerful legendary you crafted yourself! :)
Dont do content 10 levels above your currently level! People know 3 levels gives you the +25%XP Boost, but after hours of farming, doing content far above your level within my testing gives your far WORSE loot! My reasoning for this is experience of getting terrible loot in tier 41 nightmares at lvl 77 killing level 90+'s SPEEDFARMING with a WW Barb!
World bosses are level 90-92 and award a chest that is 80-82 even if you are level 60-70 you will get a chest that is 10 levels below the boss level, may need more testing but thats my experience
I believe its to do with level scaling and builds generally being kinda broken to the point you can do content FAR above your level if Min/Maxing your build.
Take it with a grain of salt but thats just my testing after afew days of getting no loot in comparison to lower tier nightmares!
Hope everyone is enjoying the game and hope these tips help someone, feel free to add anymore tips below. :)

I’ve had psychological ED for several months now. It’s been getting worse and worse. I’ve been avoiding sex and developed a phobia of it. My libido is dead.
I’m terrified of disappointing my wife, although that’s already happening. I’ve spoken to my therapist, a urologist, and am reading a book about sensate focus to overcome my phobia. I’ve also recently gotten the Mojo app to overcome this. I have also stopped using porn and masturbation. Sensate focus has helped. Although it’s not supposed to be followed with sexual activity I was aroused enough to have pill free PIV with my wife.
I’ve also tried to stop avoiding sex, to face my fears head on, but the ED seems like a forgone conclusion.
I know this is in my head because I’ve been prescribed sildenafil. It works like a charm, but when I can relax. Otherwise it’s useless.
I know somewhere I can beat this. I had this issue a few years ago. I think part of what caused the current predicament are bad flashbacks to arguments between my wife and I back then. I just can’t seem to get into that mindset and fix myself and I’m starting to feel suicidal.
Does anyone have advice.
TL;DR very bad case of psychological ED; looking for support but hard to keep my chin up (amongst other body parts lol)
Thanks for reading

Location: 94043 / San Francisco Bay Area Timestamp
EVGA 12GB RTX 3060 XC (12G-P5-3657-KR) with original box - $250 Bought last year for the SO when GPUs were still difficult to get. GPU was never mined on, only used to play FFXIV. Recently upgraded to a 3080. 661 days remaining on the warranty.
2021 16" MacBook Pro - MK183LL/A / Space Gray /16-inch / M1 Pro (10/16) / 16GB RAM / 512GB SSD - $1600 Brand new in box and sealed, received as a gift last year but it just has been collecting dust as I prefer the size of my M1 MacBook Air.
AMD Ryzen 9 3900XT - $175 SO recently upgraded to a 5800X3D. No box, will provide clamshell from 5800X3D. Never overclocked.
Crucial Ballistix 16GB DDR4-3000 White RAM(2x8GB) (BL2K8G30C15U4W) - $50 Brand new in box and sealed. Got this as part of those ridiculous Newegg bundles and never had a use for it.
Looking for local sale or trade. Pretty firm on pricing. Willing to make trades for 4090, 4080, 7900XTX, AW3423DW, or AW3423DWF. Can add or take cash on top, depending on the trade.
I haven't had many transactions on hardwareswap yet but have a few completed trades on mechmarket and can also provide eBay feedback, if needed.
Please comment before PM'ing, no chats. Cheers!

Hi! I'm exhausted and I'm scared. I have a hysterectomy scheduled a week from today. I have been bleeding for weeks and have watched my iron count (even after transfusions) diminish in those weeks to nothing.
Here's my story: my periods have always been painful. My first, around age 11, produced brown blood before anything else, and the cramps were intense. I would vomit, run a fever, and lose a week of my life every month. I was put on birth control in high school to regulate my cycles. By 18, I went off the pill and was diagnosed with PCOS. My cycle was never regular. I'd often bleed brown, or not at all. In 2018, I had a large (grapefruit sized) cyst removed, fibroids shaved down, and a septum removed from my uterus, which was enormous thanks to it growing in almost two parts (thanks, septum). Last summer, I had a total thyroidectomy (I didn't have a choice). By this fall, my cycles became so heavy that I needed to medically stop my cycles with progesterone therapy and required multiple iron transfusions. I had a uterine ablation booked and was just waiting for the freedom it would (likely) bring. Before my ablation, about a month out, my OB thought it would be good to allow myself a cycle so we had the best chance at focusing in on my ablation and not worrying about a thickened lining. So, I stopped the progesterone mini pill and all hell broke loose. I'm talking 3 ER visits in a month, fibroid findings, and provera multiple times a day to stop the bleeding, and menstrual clots the size of cantaloupe. I couldn't wait for my ablation earlier this month. During it, I have a D&C and novasure. I bled after surgery, but by day 2-3, it was nothing. I didn't even need a liner! Then, at midnight, I began to bleed. Heavily. I suspect it was because the provera was stopped. My OB told me I was one of the unlucky ones that failed the ablation, and it was likely that my fibroids or hormones were to blame. She scheduled me for a hysterectomy, as I've continued to bleed and obviously cannot live like this.
Obviously, my periods have always been some form of awful. I'm 40, I'm married, and I've never had children. I'm so upset that the ablation failed and so fiercely. Something like 93% of women at least have reduced flow with it, so I am now in a panic that I'm one of 'those' patients who is against the odds of something working. I have constant anxiety. I'm back on the mini pill to slow the bleeding, which it has in 3 days. I was not touching provera again. In short, I bled so much in the last 6 weeks that I have developed almost a PTSD every time I use the bathroom. My iron is rock bottom (I see my hematologist Monday), and I feel lifeless. I'm so scared of such a major surgery. I only have my husband. I'm scared it won't work right, I'm scared to bleed, I'm scared of everything. I've been through hell, losing about 3 months a year (a week a month) with my period for as long as I could remember (save for some PCOS years where my cycles were irregular, that I oddly miss). I am mourning so much, but I know I cannot live this way. If I see menstrual bleeding one more day, it will be too soon.
TL;DR: This is long, and rambling, but, I just want to know I am making a good choice. If you have stories, I would love to hear them. I feel so run down that the thought of surgery is truly terrorizing.

Trans guy, I've been on T for as of today 1 full year, but I'm STILL having issues with cramps and bleeding and my doctors have tried to figure out what's wrong and how to treat it, but we're at a loss. I'm with Planned Parenthood's Primary care, so this is not a case of medical gaslighting or a male doctor who doesn't know what he's doing, lol.
This thread is to see if I can get some experiential info from people who have been diagnosed with PCOS, to bring this info to my doctors and see if- despite ultrasounds results showing nothing- maybe it is PCOS after all. I am not looking for a Reddit diagnosis.
Prior to T, I did have some painful heavy periods on rare occasion. Cramps were often debilitating but only once in a blue moon were they ever bad enough that I was hyperventilating in pain, and I did get taken to the ER and briefly put on a morphine drip November 2011.
In terms of cycle, they were fairly normal, but within the past 5-10 years I started getting "mini periods" with more than just ovulation spotting, right in the middle of my cycle, which would put it AFTER when the ovulation part of the cycle would be.
I also did have some black chin hairs, a deeper than "normal" voice, and grew a couple chest hairs a couple years ago. When I got my pre-HRT hormone levels checked, I was within the "normal" testosterone range, but on the higher end of it (47/60). I don't remember when in my cycle this test was done, but from what I've read here, most people diagnosed had their levels OVER the maximum normal range for their respective tests, so ?
Not long after starting T, I began having periods that lasted over two weeks, with the spotting and leftover blood, it was nearing two consistent months of period, so I was put on the Depo shot. The constant period stopped, but I continued to have a week-ish long bleeding and cramping and now, it wasn't even on a consistent cycle!
We ruled out atrophy since my symptoms existed long before starting T, and the extendo-period was within my first two months- too soon for it to be atrophy.
They sent me for pelvic ultrasounds (external, not wand) but found nothing. Apparently, mild to moderate endometriosis sometimes doesn't show up on ultrasounds and can only be properly diagnosed during surgery. The next option was to put me on Aubra birth control pills, which for trans guys is perfectly fine (the T will still overpower it), I just have to ONLY take the white pills and throw out the blister pack once I get to the green/placebo. Apparently, BC pills are supposed to treat the symptoms of endo.
That STILL didn't work, so now they have me on Cyred aaaaand, still nope.
Aubra is 0.1mg levonorgestrel and 0.02mg ethinyl estradiol. Cyred is 0.15mg desogestrel and 0.03 ehinyl estradiol.
Hormone levels were checked in both late July and early January while I was on Depo and were normal. I'm due for my 1yr labs soon so we'll see what they are on Cyred.
tl;dr: -Regular period cycle, but with unusual post-ovulation mid-cycle period (pre-HRT)
-Bad cramps, VERY bad on rare occasion, hospitalized once (pre-HRT)
-No hair loss (none post-HRT either), mild black chin and chest hairs in early adulthood (pre-HRT)
-Testosterone levels pre-t were 47 out of a "normal" range of 8-60
-Nearly 2mo long period after starting T, possibly due to hormonal changes
-Absolutely nothing abnormal showing up on external pelvic ultrasound
-Long period stopped, but light period and cramping has continued 1yr on T, inconsistent cycle
-Pre-HRT symptoms and early HRT symptoms rule out atrophy
-Two hormone labs post-HRT have come back with all hormone levels normal
-Depo shot, Aubra, and Cyred pils (no placebo) haven't worked

This was about 8 years ago. I'm dead tired. Working and tindering in NYC for the last week, my first trip ever there. I'm completely exhausted from working long hours and lack of sleep from going out at night. Flying direct back to SLC in the evening. I'm looking forward to crashing in my seat; I've prepped by taking some NyQuil sleeping pills. The seats to know are in row 12. ABC DEF.
When walking down the aisle to my row. Seats CDEF are all taken. I'm holding my ticket for 12F. Of course I mention to the woman in my seat that she has my seat. She claims it's hers and I must be mistaken. (See one sentence before holding my ticket in my hand). She has to dig through her bag forever to find her ticket to see she has 12A and asks if I'll just take her seat so she won't have to move as she's "settled". Fine. Same seat. It doesn't matter to me. I sit in 12A and fall asleep.
Some moments later the woman from 12F is standing in the aisle tapping my shoulder saying she needs her seat. She is holding her ticket and says she has claustrophobia and needs her seat (12B is empty so now 12A looks better than 12F). Well I'm sure she's full of shit and just wants to enjoy having the middle seat empty but what can I do? Technically she does hold that ticket and I'm tired and just want to sleep so I move to 12F. 12E and 11F both mention to me I'm too nice for putting up with this shit. I agree, but fuck it, I want to sleep so bad, so I fall back asleep.
Some moments later the woman is waking me up again. She is offering 12A back to me again as she is suffering from a panic attack and has decided to exit the plane. (The door still hadn't closed due to a delay waiting for a pilot). I nod to 12E saying he should take 12A. He'd have a better seat than the middle seat but he's "settled" so fuck it I move back over to 12A, 12E ends up sliding over to 12F of course and I fall asleep again.
Some moments later I'm awoken by a man standing in the aisle saying I'm in his seat. He's holding a freshly printed ticket for 12A as the plane door is still open and he was issued this seat after the claustrophobic woman left the plane. What can I do? He doesn't know everything that's happened, it's certainly officially his seat. I'm exhausted and look to 12C and say, "I'm sorry I'm just going to slide over to 12B, I'm not going to go take my seat back from 12E who is now in my seat 12F. I fall back to sleep.
Some moments later I'm awoken by the man in 12A who said I can take his seat as he's going to go to the back where there are more open seats. The plane has only now just closed the door after sitting at the gate for three hours and is prepping for take off as I settle back in to seat 12A once again to fall asleep.
TL;DR WTF is wrong with me, never give up your seat people.

This was about 8 years ago. I'm dead tired. Working and tindering in NYC for the last week, my first trip ever there. I'm completely exhausted from working long hours and lack of sleep from going out at night. Flying direct back to SLC in the evening. I'm looking forward to crashing in my seat; I've prepped by taking some NyQuil sleeping pills. The seats to know are in row 12. ABC DEF.
When walking down the aisle to my row. Seats CDEF are all taken. I'm holding my ticket for 12F. Of course I mention to the woman in my seat that she has my seat. She claims it's hers and I must be mistaken. (See one sentence before holding my ticket in my hand). She has to dig through her bag forever to find her ticket to see she has 12A and asks if I'll just take her seat so she won't have to move as she's "settled". Fine. Same seat. It doesn't matter to me. I sit in 12A and fall asleep.
Some moments later the woman from 12F is standing in the aisle tapping my shoulder saying she needs her seat. She is holding her ticket and says she has claustrophobia and needs her seat (12B is empty so now 12A looks better than 12F). Well I'm sure she's full of shit and just wants to enjoy having the middle seat empty but what can I do? Technically she does hold that ticket and I'm tired and just want to sleep so I move to 12F. 12E and 11F both mention to me I'm too nice for putting up with this shit. I agree, but fuck it, I want to sleep so bad, so I fall back asleep.
Some moments later the woman is waking me up again. She is offering 12A back to me again as she is suffering from a panic attack and has decided to exit the plane. (The door still hadn't closed due to a delay waiting for a pilot). I nod to 12E saying he should take 12A. He'd have a better seat than the middle seat but he's "settled" so fuck it I move back over to 12A, 12E ends up sliding over to 12F of course and I fall asleep again.
Some moments later I'm awoken by a man standing in the aisle saying I'm in his seat. He's holding a freshly printed ticket for 12A as the plane door is still open and he was issued this seat after the claustrophobic woman left the plane. What can I do? He doesn't know everything that's happened, it's certainly officially his seat. I'm exhausted and look to 12C and say, "I'm sorry I'm just going to slide over to 12B, I'm not going to go take my seat back from 12E who is now in my seat 12F. I fall back to sleep.
Some moments later I'm awoken by the man in 12A who said I can take his seat as he's going to go to the back where there are more open seats. The plane has only now just closed the door after sitting at the gate for three hours and is prepping for take off as I settle back in to seat 12A once again to fall asleep.
TL;DR WTF is wrong with me, never give up your seat people.

Happy Friday, everyone! :) Welcome to my weekly thread of mobile gaming recommendations based on some of the most interesting games I played and that were covered on MiniReview this week. I hope you'll enjoy the read.
Support these posts (and YouTube content + development of MiniReview) on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/NimbleThor <3
This episode includes an awesome old-school RPG NetHack variant, a beautiful arcade bullet-hell shooter, a relaxing puzzle game, a popular chess app, and a casual tower defense game.
New to these posts? Check out the first one from 179 weeks ago here.

Let's get to the games:

GnollHack [Game Size: 1.1 GB] (Free)

Genre: RPG / Roguelike - Offline
Orientation: Landscape + Portrait
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by JBMessin:
Gnollhack is a fun variant of the famous roguelike “Nethack” designed specifically for mobile. In comparison to the original game, it features numerous quality-of-life changes, both ASCII and graphical tiles for the dungeon floors, and even voice acting.
A major advantage over other Nethack variants is Gnollhack’s large and intuitive UI. The most used commands are available on our main screen, and everything else is just a tap away and presented with clear and noticeable icons. The UI may look more cluttered than most modern mobile games, but it’s a big step up in comparison to many Nethack-based games.
What's also great about Gnollhack is that it's easier in the beginning than it is towards the end, which is completely different from Nethack and its other mobile variants. This makes it perfect for those that aren't familiar with the genre’s unforgiving gameplay and crazy learning curve.
The graphical ground tiles are impressive for a game genre where the archaic ASCII art style is typically preferred. The character and enemy sprites are also well-made and even presented according to creature size, which means larger enemies actually have larger sprites. Lastly, it’s much easier to navigate our inventory in Gnollhack than in most similar games since our weapons, armor, wands, etc. are actually presented visually.
The biggest downside to Gnollhack is its 1+ GB size, which isn’t massive by AAA standards but is ridiculously large for a Nethack variant. It's also heavy on battery usage, although that is to be expected with gameplay where so much is going on at all times.
Gnollhack is completely free without ads or iAPs. Overall, despite its few flaws, it’s a fantastic introduction to the brutality that is Nethack.
App Store Beta (TestFlight): Here

Wavecade [Total Game Size: 221 MB] ($2.99)

Genre: Arcade / Bullet-Hell - Online + Offline
Orientation: Landscape + Portrait
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by Solitalker:
Wavecade is a beautiful retro-styled roguelike arcade space shooter where we control the speed of time and destroy waves of incoming space blocks to score as many points as possible.
As we dodge and swerve our way through the 80's retro-inspired neon space, our ship automatically fires at any blocks in sight.
But this is where it gets interesting, because if we pull our ship toward the bottom of the screen, time slows down, allowing us to precisely maneuver away from projectiles and environmental space hazards. Pushing forward toward the top of the screen speeds up time beyond 100%, with greater points and rewards the faster we’re traveling.
After each run, experience gained unlocks new ranks that let us customize our ship. Cosmetics and new abilities can be configured and equipped before starting a new run, and even the appearance of the blocks we're facing can be customized to our liking.
A wide variety of powerups and weapons can be found throughout each run, leading to some wonderfully overpowered moments of total destruction. But some buffs and abilities are so effective that blocks don’t even make it on screen before they're destroyed, which is a little disappointing since we don't get to see the vibrant neon particle-filled explosions.
The touch controls can be frustrating at times. By default, we tap and drag our ship around manually, but this leaves our ship and the area directly around it hidden by our finger during play. Thankfully, the ship can be offset in the settings, or a virtual joystick can be enabled.
The visual and audio experience of Wavecade is incredibly satisfying, and its fantastic soundtrack perfectly fits the aesthetics.
For $2.99 on iOS with no additional monetization, it’s a very enjoyable arcade shoot ‘em up with relatively quick runs and a rewarding high-score system.
App Store: Here

Down in Bermuda [Game Size: 513 MB] ($5.99)

Genre: Puzzle / Casual - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Some
tl;dr review by AlexSem:
Down in Bermuda is a cute isometric puzzle adventure from the creators of “Agent A: A Puzzle in Disguise”, where we explore the mysteries of a secluded island by participating in a series of brain-testing puzzle activities.
Each level consists of a large 3D island that we can freely observe from all sides in search of interactive objects, mini-games, and puzzle clues. We need to click, swipe, and drag said objects in a specific sequence to complete each puzzle, and the key to success lies in attentiveness, a bit of luck, and sometimes clicking all the suspicious spots in the hope that something meaningful happens.
We also get to meet local inhabitants and help them with their problems – all while searching for a way to escape the island. The puzzles in each scene can be solved in any order, but we still need to finish certain scenarios to proceed in the game.
A huge portion of the gameplay revolves around finding and gathering all the glowing stars hidden in each level. While we can use a handy star map to easily locate them, there is a special achievement if we manage to succeed without its help.
We may also find special keys used to open advanced parts of the puzzles on previous islands, so a bit of backtracking is required to complete the game 100%. Other than that, the game progresses in a linear fashion, which can be disappointing for hardcore puzzle fans, but is perfect for casual play.
Down in Bermuda is a premium game without ads or iAPs that costs $5.99 on iOS. Despite being rather short, it provides an engaging puzzle-solving experience that I’m sure anyone fond of high-quality mobile adventure games will appreciate.
App Store: Here

lichess [Game Size: 137 MB] (Free)

Genre: Board / Casual / Chess - Online + Offline
Orientation: Portrait + Landscape
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by jurij:
lichess is a free open-source chess app with zero ads and nothing hidden behind a paywall.
The app is fast and simple. We can start a game in seconds, and since there are very few options and menus, everything is centered around actually playing. It features several online and offline chess variations, but in comparison to the Chess.com app or the website version of lichess, it still lacks several advanced features.
We also have access to puzzles, game lessons, and some game analysis options, but all of this works much better in the website version.
lichess is the second most popular chess platform after Chess.com, and if you love chess, you probably already have both installed. lichess is just a tad more outdated overall, but at least we don’t have to live with any paywalled features.
The lichess mobile app is a few years behind the website version in terms of usability – in large part because the mostly volunteer team managing the game is just not focused on the mobile version for some reason. A great example of how rudimentary some parts of the app are is the extremely clunky board editor that looks like it was made in a day and then never updated.
Ultimately, it’s a simple but fully free chess app for serious players that is amazing for starting fast bullet and blitz games. It lacks functionality and varied bots but has everything else you need for a great chess experience.
App Store: Here

Arrow War (Game Size: 130 MB] (Free)

Genre: Tower Defense / Casual - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Little (semi-idle)
tl;dr review by NimbleThor:
Arrow War is a casual and silly castle defense game where we manage a group of archers firing arrows at the waves of incoming enemies that try to seize our tower.
Starting with just a single archer, we must equip it with new bows, upgrade existing ones, enhance the skills of the bow, and much more to grow stronger. As we progress, we unlock more archers, each of which we need to manage in the same way.
Every wave takes a few minutes to complete, after which we’re taken back to our base, where we can upgrade our team in different ways, start the next wave, or play other game modes.
During combat, our archers automatically aim at the nearest enemies, while we strategically trigger their skills. So the combat isn’t idle, but it’s an ideal game to play while watching TV or doing something else.
There are a ton of ways to upgrade our archers and castle wall, lots of fun bows to unlock, quests to complete, and areas around our castle to capture so they automatically produce resources for us. Unfortunately, the combat is always the same across all the game modes.
The game features a premium currency, but we earn plenty of it for free, allowing us to buy things such as auto-aim for our main archer. There is technically also an energy system, but we gain so much of it that it’s rarely ever felt. Overall, the progression is nicely balanced for free players, and I haven’t experienced any paywalls.
Unfortunately, the game doesn’t utilize the wide screens of modern smartphones.
Arrow War monetizes via incentivized ads, a few forced ads, and iAPs to grow stronger faster. The iAPs aren’t necessary to progress, but the 5-second forced ads may become annoying. Some of the iAPs remove these ads.
App Store: Here
Special thanks to the Patreon Producers "marquisdan", "Lost Vault", "Farm RPG", and "Mohaimen" who help make these posts possible through their Patreon support <3
Google Sheet of all games I've played so far (searchable and filter-able): https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1bf0OxtVxrboZqyEh01AxJYUUqHm8tEfh-Lx-SugcrzY/edit?usp=sharing
TL;DR Video Summary (with gameplay) of last week's games: https://youtu.be/Q3eX2WiUHHU
Episode 161 Episode 162 Episode 163 Episode 164 Episode 165 Episode 166 Episode 167 Episode 168 Episode 169 Episode 170 Episode 171 Episode 172 Episode 173 Episode 174 Episode 175 Episode 176 Episode 177 Episode 178

Hi! I'm 24F from Philippines, currently living independently away from the province. I've been struggling with health anxiety features since 2020 but it became much worse last year after a major health issue I encountered. Apologies for the length, but I appreciate your patience. Any comments are much welcome.
TL;DR: I'm a 24-year-old woman living independently, dealing with health anxiety that has worsened after a major health issue last year. I underwent unexpected surgery and a six-month medication for a cancer scare, with physical recovery at 90% but mental struggles persisting. Anxiety triggers my GERD and vice versa, leading to sleepless nights and fear of death. I have dextroscoliosis, hyperacidity, and a recent diagnosis of hiatal hernia. Seeking help for persistent back pain, neck pressure, and nerve tingling, unsure where to start. Considering a neurologist for a brain scan or a psychiatrist for mental health support. Financial difficulties add to the challenges. Open to guidance and recommendations.
Just a background, I already struggle with a couple of conditions through the years:
*have dextroscoliosis since I was 14
*have hyperacidity, recently diagnosed with hiatal hernia (Feb 2023)
Everything went down last August 2022 when I experienced chest pain at work and was rushed to the ER. While my ECG was normal, I was advised to undergo a chest MRI due to my dextroscoliosis. Surprisingly, my spine was found to be stable, but the scan revealed a 4cm mediastinal mass near my thymus gland. Initially suspected as thymoma, a type of cancer, I sought a second opinion and consulted a thoracic cardiovascular surgeon. The TCVS specialist believed it was likely a benign tumor but advised against a direct biopsy due to its delicate location. Consequently, we opted for surgery in September. During the procedure, the tumors were successfully removed, and a frozen section indicated tuberculosis (TB) as the cause. As the remaining cysts were benign, they were also excised. After two weeks of hospitalization, a second biopsy confirmed the tuberculosis diagnosis, and I was referred to the TB program for treatment.
Surprisingly, my TB was almost asymptomatic, with only occasional chest pain as the noticeable symptom. It's alarming to realize that the virus can manifest in such a manner. I have been diligently took my prescribed medication for 6 months but I have struggled with the harsh side effects. The initial two weeks were particularly challenging, as I was recovering from surgery while enduring the medication-induced vomiting, body pain, and fatigue. Additionally, the post-surgery pills caused severe acid reflux. While sputum accompanied by acid was common, I experienced blood in my sputum once, but the doctor reassured me that it was normal. I also experienced excessive hypersalivation for three weeks, likely due to stress and anxiety, but that has subsided after a recent follow-up checkup. Overall, I underwent significant physical, mental, and emotional distress.
In March 2023, I completed my TB medication, but unfortunately, it had a negative impact on my gastrointestinal health. To address my worsening condition, I underwent an endoscopy in February 2023 while still on my TB medication. The results revealed that I have a Level 3 Hiatal Hernia and Non-erosive Gastritis. Fortunately, I tested negative for H. pylori infection and received clearance from Barrett's esophagus, stomach ulcers, and other potential diagnoses. My doctor prescribed Pantoprazole 40mg for 30 days, and since then, I have noticed a significant reduction in acid reflux and heartburn.
It is worth mentioning that during the past seven months, I have been admitted to the emergency room four times due to mistaking severe heartburn for a heart attack. These experiences have heightened my health anxiety to some extent.
Currently, I am no longer taking any medication, but I am facing challenges with persistent back pain, pressure in the upper neck, and nerve tingling. I recently had an X-ray and consulted with my orthopedic specialist, who attributed my symptoms to overwork and recommended starting physical therapy within two weeks.
However, things have worsened since then. Over the past five days, my sleep pattern has been extremely disrupted. I manage to sleep, but it's far from the restful slumber I am accustomed to. On workdays, I am grateful for just three hours of sleep. Last night was particularly difficult as I couldn't sleep at all until 7 AM. I constantly feel a sensation of choking and suffocation, even without any apparent trigger. Although my blood pressure and pulse rate are normal, I can't shake the feeling that I might die the moment I fall asleep.
Sharing this here is incredibly difficult for me, and I humbly request your patience and understanding. I'm breaking down as I type this, to be honest. I am seeking guidance on where to seek help. Should I begin by consulting a neurologist for a brain scan, as I'm unsure if my discomfort and nerve tingling are related to neurological issues? Or would it be more appropriate to start with a psychiatrist? Additionally, I would appreciate any recommendations for reputable institutions or healthcare providers, as I am currently facing financial challenges due to medical expenses incurred last year.
Thank you for taking the time to read my message. I am grateful for your support, and I extend my best wishes to everyone for their well-being and recovery.

Hi! I'm 24F, currently living independently away from the province. I've been struggling with health anxiety features since 2020 but it became much worse last year after a major health issue I encountered. Apologies for the length, but I appreciate your patience. Any comments are much welcome.
TL;DR: I'm a 24-year-old woman living independently, dealing with health anxiety that has worsened after a major health issue last year. I underwent unexpected surgery and a six-month medication for a cancer scare, with physical recovery at 90% but mental struggles persisting. Anxiety triggers my GERD and vice versa, leading to sleepless nights and fear of death. I have dextroscoliosis, hyperacidity, and a recent diagnosis of hiatal hernia. Seeking help for persistent back pain, neck pressure, and nerve tingling, unsure where to start. Considering a neurologist for a brain scan or a psychiatrist for mental health support. Financial difficulties add to the challenges. Open to guidance and recommendations.
Just a background, I already struggle with a couple of conditions through the years: *have dextroscoliosis since I was 14 *have hyperacidity, recently diagnosed with hiatal hernia (Feb 2023)
Everything went down last August 2022 when I experienced chest pain at work and was rushed to the ER. While my ECG was normal, I was advised to undergo a chest MRI due to my dextroscoliosis. Surprisingly, my spine was found to be stable, but the scan revealed a 4cm mediastinal mass near my thymus gland. Initially suspected as thymoma, a type of cancer, I sought a second opinion and consulted a thoracic cardiovascular surgeon. The TCVS specialist believed it was likely a benign tumor but advised against a direct biopsy due to its delicate location. Consequently, we opted for surgery in September. During the procedure, the tumors were successfully removed, and a frozen section indicated tuberculosis (TB) as the cause. As the remaining cysts were benign, they were also excised. After two weeks of hospitalization, a second biopsy confirmed the tuberculosis diagnosis, and I was referred to the TB program for treatment.
Surprisingly, my TB was almost asymptomatic, with only occasional chest pain as the noticeable symptom. It's alarming to realize that the virus can manifest in such a manner. I have been diligently took my prescribed medication for 6 months but I have struggled with the harsh side effects. The initial two weeks were particularly challenging, as I was recovering from surgery while enduring the medication-induced vomiting, body pain, and fatigue. Additionally, the post-surgery pills caused severe acid reflux. While sputum accompanied by acid was common, I experienced blood in my sputum once, but the doctor reassured me that it was normal. I also experienced excessive hypersalivation for three weeks, likely due to stress and anxiety, but that has subsided after a recent follow-up checkup. Overall, I underwent significant physical, mental, and emotional distress.
In March 2023, I completed my TB medication, but unfortunately, it had a negative impact on my gastrointestinal health. To address my worsening condition, I underwent an endoscopy in February 2023 while still on my TB medication. The results revealed that I have a Level 3 Hiatal Hernia and Non-erosive Gastritis. Fortunately, I tested negative for H. pylori infection and received clearance from Barrett's esophagus, stomach ulcers, and other potential diagnoses. My doctor prescribed Pantoprazole 40mg for 30 days, and since then, I have noticed a significant reduction in acid reflux and heartburn.
It is worth mentioning that during the past seven months, I have been admitted to the emergency room four times due to mistaking severe heartburn for a heart attack. These experiences have heightened my health anxiety to some extent.
Currently, I am no longer taking any medication, but I am facing challenges with persistent back pain, pressure in the upper neck, and nerve tingling. I recently had an X-ray and consulted with my orthopedic specialist, who attributed my symptoms to overwork and recommended starting physical therapy within two weeks.
However, things have worsened since then. Over the past five days, my sleep pattern has been extremely disrupted. I manage to sleep, but it's far from the restful slumber I am accustomed to. On workdays, I am grateful for just three hours of sleep. Last night was particularly difficult as I couldn't sleep at all until 7 AM. I constantly feel a sensation of choking and suffocation, even without any apparent trigger. Although my blood pressure and pulse rate are normal, I can't shake the feeling that I might die the moment I fall asleep.
Sharing this here is incredibly difficult for me, and I humbly request your patience and understanding. I'm breaking down as I type this, to be honest. I am seeking guidance on where to seek help. Should I begin by consulting a neurologist for a brain scan, as I'm unsure if my discomfort and nerve tingling are related to neurological issues? Or would it be more appropriate to start with a psychiatrist? Additionally, I would appreciate any recommendations for reputable institutions or healthcare providers, as I am currently facing financial challenges due to medical expenses incurred last year.
Thank you for taking the time to read my message. I am grateful for your support, and I extend my best wishes to everyone for their well-being and recovery.

This is going to be a long rant sorry. I'll put the tl;dr here at the start. Spent years complaining to different doctors about symptoms, got consistently different answers. Had a positive pregnancy test 2 weeks ago. 5 days ago rushed to the ER with debilitating cramps and sudden severe bleeding. Roughly 8 hours later was told I lost the baby due to being rh - and oh, I have pcos. In addition to all of that, I feel like no one is helping or educating me on what is wrong with me.
Long version:
Heavy periods were normal in my family. Most of my periods since late teenage years had been heavy and lasted long. I'd been to doctors and was told as long as they came around the same day and lasted about the same time, it was still normal. I rarely have cramps during my periods, and aside from occasionally having extremely heavy flow days or maybe a slightly longer bleeding cycle, it didn't bother me much.
At 19 I had a chemical pregnancy. My then boyfriend (now husband) and I went apple picking in the hills; this was a big deal because it was our first "trip", almost 2 hours from our home town. I had missed my period but only by maybe five days and was excited that our sort of big date wouldn't be ruined by aunt flow. Half way there she showed up anyways... or at least I thought that what was happening. I had mild cramps which was strange but the bleeding didn't stop. I was going through a super tampon and pad roughly every half hour. We made it to the hills, and within 20 mins left. I was too embarrassed to tell him why I needed to go home and blamed it on feeling incredibly sick. What really happened was I had sneezed, and even though it had been maybe 15 mins since I had switch my tampon and pad it gushed so badly that I bleed through my jeans.
I went to the doctor the next day. Found out it was a chemical pregnancy. They did all the "regular tests" to see if there was anything else wrong. Everything came back negative. I was given meds and told to let nature take its course.
Around 22 I started battling my weight. I am 5 foot 1. My healthly weoght is between 115 and 125 lbs. I always did sports so I spent most of my teen years around 130/135, majority ot being muscle weight from the years of softball, swim team, and polo.
My eating habits hadn't changed. But I suddenly kept gaining weight and couldn't lose it. I though maybe it was because I no longer did Phys Ed classes and stopped doing sports. I didn't think I'd hit 165 in just a few months, but assumed it was my fault. I dieted like crazy, started hiking 2 hrs a day, and was able to lose most of the weight and sit comfortably around 145. I never got back to my ideal/healthy weight though. I brought this up to doctors and was told it was my metabolism aging. It was normal. It happened. I just had to adjust my lifestyle and make the best of it.
Shortly after, mostly because I kept demanding answers, I went to an OB who told me I had fibroids. It felt good to get an answer after years of frustration. I tried different birth controls, which helped but also caused other unwanted side effects. More weight gain. Mood swings. Decreased sex drive. Depression. Nothing seemed to be worth it. So I stopped and focused on living as health as I could. Not dieting but chosing better options and eating less. Starting jujitsu. Keeping up with hiking. Things seemed to be balancing out.
At 23 I was in a bad car crash. I was tboned on my driver's side by someone who was trying to turn left into a gas station, going 45 mph. After a couple of days at the hospital, frontal lobe damage, cracked skull,, broken bones, and other minor exteral damage, I fell into a terrible depression. My wrist was shattered so badly that I was in a cast for 9 months. I couldn't exercise. I was always in pain. And almost overnight I went from a healthy-ish (not what I should be at but what I was comfortable at) 145lbs to 165 lbs. Not actually over night but in about a month and a half. I was barely eating because the meds I was on made me so nauseous and completely zoned out. I was stuck inside due to the concussion I had and I was stuck in bed due to other injuries. The bleeding got worse. But I was told it was just the fibroids flaring up.
My periods got worse. They started lasting longer. They were more frequent. I would get one week off and then three or four weeks of bleeding. One time it was a solid 3 months of almost non stop bleeding. I did blood work. Pelvic exams. Went to the OB, my primary care doctor. Moved to a new state. Got a new OB.
At this point my weight gain had gotten even worse. I somehow would drop 10 lbs and gain 10 lbs and then drop 5 and gain 15 over the course of a month. My once thick hair had gotten so thin. It was falling out in clumps. I had bald spots. It was snapping off in places. I did hair masks, oils, viviscal pills. Nothing seemed to help. My depression and anxiety was also getting worse, but after taking pills to feel numb I tried to focus more on natural fixes. Sam-E, holistic supplements, healthy eating.
I told this to my new OB. They did thyroid tests. Diabetes tests. Cancer tests.
And the answer was always, well it's more common than you think to flux in weight. Your blood work looks fine. Sometimes women get heavy periods due to stress. Hair loss is natural with age. Maybe you should change your diet. Work out more.
It was exhausting.
Fast forward to 2023. I got married after 10 years of being with my now husband. We were finally ready to start a family and trying for kids. My OB gave me the all clear, said we shouldn't have anything to worry about. My fibroids hadn't been flaring up. My periods were fairly regular. My dedication to getting healthy was paying off. As strenuous as it was, it was getting results.
I worked hard, lost about 25lbs and got down to 170 last year.
Things were getting better, I was working my ass off. After 5 years I found the strength to join jits again. Even though I had pain and had to be careful with my.old injuries I worked hard to keep up.
Life was getting better.
I've always wanted to be a mom. Since I was little.
When I got that positive test after 5 months of trying it was the happiest day of my life. It had been about 7 weeks from my last period. I had had some light cramping. A day of pink spotting. I could smell things like a blood hound.
The soonest appointment we could get with my OB was a week after the positive test, but I didn't care. I was so happy.
I had adjusted my diet. Fought my sugar cravings and ate only completely natural sugars like fruit. I focused on nutritional food. I did light exercise. I took prenatal, and stopped drinking caffeine. I tried to do everything right.
At the OB the ultrasound didn't look great. They couldn't see much, but confirmed the thick wall was there, and it looked healthy. My blood test came back with healthy levels of p and hcg.
Friday the cramps started. Saturday the spotting started. The cramps got worse. Sunday was the worst day of my life bare none. The cramps pain was unbearable. The bleeding was mind blowing. I was going through 4 super plus tampons in an hour. The pads were the only thing keeping me from bleeding through my clothes every 15 mins.
We spend from about 1:30pm til about 9pm in the ER. I knew at this point what the news was going to be. Blood work was first. It confirmed almost nonexistent levels of HCG. I was told i was rh negative and my body rejected the baby, but i couldnt leave yet. Pelvic exam was next. They couldn't give me any answers on why they were keeping me or what else was wrong. After the ultrasound we waited about 3 hours for results. I was told I couldn't leave because they were concerned I might have twisted an ovary and needed surgery.
The news I got back was a million times worse. Both ovaries were covered in a large amount of tiny cysts. I was told I have pcos. Well they were almost certain it was pcos.
I asked questions buy got very few and vague answers. I was told to go to my OB appointment that I had already scheduled for my 7 week pregnancy follow up. I would learn more there.
I went to my appointment yesterday. Again got very few answers.
I was told more tests needed to be run, and it was hard to do while I was in the process of having a miscarriage. It was probably pcos. I would need to come back in 3 weeks, when I should be ovulating again. I could find out more then.
I feel so lost. I did my own research and finally things started to make sense.
The symptoms were lining up. Things I never even considered being related to each other.
The obvious ones were irregular periods, thinning hair, difficulty losing weight.
However it was the smaller symptoms that made it all click. My sleep habits had gotten very poor. I had trouble falling and staying asleep. I had darkening skin in my elbows, knees, armpits, private areas. Headaches which seemed to get worse around my ovulation time. Unexplained fatigue.
I feel so hopeless. I feel like no one is helping me. No one is guiding me on how to treat this. Or what to do. My concerns were being brushed off by medical professionals. Most of the information I have I found myself after my ER visit. I feel alone, and defeated, and just tired. I've been unable to muster any energy to do much other than get up, go to work, eat a little, and sit/lay in bed. I know it has a lot to do with the miscarriage, which has been hard, but I feel like the pcos diagnosis has just crimpled me mentally to a point where I don't even know how to function anymore.
Thanks for letting me rant. It feels better being able to put into words these feelings. I'm trying to stay strong and not show this side to my husband. He took the news just as hard, if not worse, than I did.
For those who made it this far, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Where do I go from here....

I want to give some context before I give my full warning. I am someone with excruciating periods, I have tried every method possible to relieve my pain, but unfortunately still battle my period every month. I decided to give the mini pill- Slynd a try with high hopes. I am also diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder, generalized anxiety, and health anxiety. Day 1 I had a terrible headache from Slynd as well as fatigue, nausea, diarrhea, and moody. I thought maybe it was coincidence since it was only the first day… but how I wish I would’ve just stopped then and there. Day 2 I take the pill and get the same headache, diarrhea, and nausea..which is fine, I could manage that. About 6 hours after taking the pill I start getting very tired and very anxious, still manageable. I then go to bed and start getting brain zaps, migraine with aura (which I thought progestrin only pills would NOT cause) and best of all, I start to visually hallucinate. I was fearful of my life at this point. I also want to mention that I am not using drugs, my bipolar 2 is incredibly well managed, and two days after quitting I am completely better.
I had heard mostly positive reviews and really had my hopes up. I’m also wondering if only had any similar experiences or if Slynd is their holy grail?
TL;DR: if you are someone with bipolar disorder, anxiety, or other mental health issues and you are considering taking Slynd for menstrual pain I highly recommend looking elsewhere.

TL;DR I can’t get a clear answer from a now former boyfriend of mine if he has or hasnt had a vasectomy. He does have something like a keloid scar on his testicles though. Everything I’ve googled says there isn’t scarring left post-op, but is that true for you all?
Hi everyone. I was in an (albeit toxic) relationship with someone for about a year. He is mid 30s with three kids of his own from a past marriage and I am late 20s with no kids. We had talked about having children before, how he was open to more kids and I definitely wanted to be a mom in my life. When I went off the pill, I told him and was also very vocal about my ovulation and where I was in my cycle.
We often had unprotected sex and at the end of April we had a “scare”, where I genuinely thought I was pregnant and he even agreed I had a lot of the symptoms and claimed he thought i was. He even talked to my stomach, told me not to do certain things until i saw a doctor, etc. Finally, one night when we were talking about the potential of me being pregnant, he went “it’s not possible”. I was so confused and kept asking how he knew it wasn’t a possibility. I almost had to pull it out of him, because I finally asked: “what? Have you had a vasectomy?” To which he said yes. Obviously i was hurt and confused bc I didn’t know why he acted like there was a chance if he knew it would be a very low one. I felt at the time that if i was always honest about when i was on the pill, he should’ve said something. I eventually got my period so I assumed it was true.
We ended up breaking up shortly after this, and one day when we were having one of those overwrought break up convos, we got back on the subject of when I thought I was pregnant. I told him I thought it was cruel of him not to disclose upfront the vasectomy thing, to which he said that he WAS LYING ABOUT HAVING ONE.
In the end, I guess it doesn’t matter because I can say with certainty I’m not pregnant. BUT for my own peace of mind, after the countless narcissistic mind games this guy has played on me, is there any way to tell if a man has been snipped? On his testicles there was definitely something that looked like a keloid scar along the seam but everything online says there shouldn’t be any scarring.
After your procedure, were there any physical tells that you had been snipped?

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