To Myatt's Fields Park Project - Chair, Executives, Staff and Trustees,
when I was brought along to Myatt's by a neighbour in the summer 2022, I thought this might be a place where I can continue to heal while learning to deal with workplace related issues in a SAFE environment to re-learn getting back into work. I spent years isolated in traumatic grief and having had to look after my parents one-by-one until they deteriorated each with dementia and their own trauma and grief. Burying my dad next to my brother, never imagined I would not be able to bury my mum a few years later during the pandemic lockdown.
I thought I could get out of isolation, back into working with people in a safe place until I'm ready to get back into “proper” employment” again. I was wrong.
I have lost my family one by one over the last 8 years. My brother's death was extremely traumatic. And as this didn't seem enough for the universe, the pandemic had to hinder me burying my mum. Lost my job, am still unable to work without getting triggered of workplace bullying and anxiety attacks. Losing my mental health. Losing hope. Getting up with the end of my life on my mind and going to bed with the end of my life on my mind. Like in Ricky Gervais Netflix series “Afterlife” where he plays a widow who always keeps his “Superpower”, that if everything fails, he just skips out of life. I have nothing to lose anymore and live with my Superpower.
I made mistakes, tried to rectify it, but failed again. I understand that people everywhere are overwhelmed. Anybody's story of loss, trauma, sickness is uncomfortable for society and for people who are either healthy, in the middle of life, or successfully overcame trauma, loss and illness. And anyone who feels they dealt better with loss and trauma makes the mistake to compare themselves to other sufferers. Don't cross that line!
But the more grief and trauma one has, the more society wants them silent. I am not silent, I CAN'T be silent because of HOW everything unfolded and how I was left alone in the worst time of my life. No initial support, no help and the deep blackness of trauma.
A Stern Rebuke to a charity enlisting volunteers for “Well-being”
Are you Myatt's not embarrassed and ashamed of yourselves in how you treat, not only free labour (volunteers), but volunteers with mental and physical health issues? Are you not ashamed of yourselves? NOT inducting volunteers. NOT doing health and needs checks. And then quickly fixing things after it was called out by the very volunteer who is fncked up mentally, whoom you try to get rid of, and seems to care more about safety then all of you combined!
We current and former volunteers have NO rights like paid employees have. And the Myatt's Fields Park Project has been THE WORST volunteer experience in my life. Yes, you are THE MOST generous (trips, Sunday lunch, vegetables, teaching on plants etc.) which I mentioned in my other blog. But what is that if as a volunteer I feel my dignity stepped upon and for staff to not want me to be there as it's inconvenient for them?
I have volunteered most of my life since my late teens in different countries and many different projects: working with the homeless, with the elderly in art/painting sessions in nursing homes, helping support free services (free haircuts, manicures, meals) with dignity to sex workers and their children, free clean-ups after hurricane debris and fallen trees in people's yards etc. etc. etc.
The Myatt's Fields Park Project had me so hurt at times that my mental health took a nose-dive again. And for that I suffer further discrimination as if it was my fault feeling distressed! It has led me to the decision to never ever give my free time, skill, experience ever again to any charity or general project. I've had enough after years of volunteering and the last experience with Myatt's.
Are you not ashamed of yourselves to take advantage of volunteers while your staff sit for hours every week in the office in winter or the cool depot space in summer while volunteers outside labour away in the sun, cold and rain? Some who are a little older outside, unsupervised and in danger to suffer health issues. A stroke, heart attack etc. at an higher age can happen any time! Are you paid staff members not ashamed?!
Are you not ashamed of yourselves for bad-mouthing a paid colleague and even worse some volunteers, and also bad-mouthing volunteer to other volunteers?
Are you not ashamed to rush an elderly volunteer with walking difficulties on the day-trips to the point the volunteer couldn't sleep at night for fear they'd be late for the next trip, and then tell me as a volunteer who was concerned for the person that I should relax and not take control. Or as you all knew from the beginning that I have PTSD and triggers, that if I'm triggered that I should not come to trips. Are you not ashamed? Have you read the Equality Act on dignity?
The amount of times I was hurt in my dignity and another volunteer being stressed about Fab. talking for hours with most of us sitting there bored, in silence and getting headaches from the one-man show. Are you not ashamed?
Apathy on Safety Issues
When I pointed out serious health and safety concerns between summer 2022 and spring 2023:
Nails/screws sticking out of a shelf on eye-level, almost poking my eye when I put blue paper into the dispenser underneath the shelf, as we never had anything to dry our hands with and no staff member acting on these issues. Your 2 staff members (volunteer coordinator and greenhouse manager) just seeming clueless (or careless?), not even knowing where a tool box is upon request to pull the nails and screws out. Both staff who work at Myatt's one for 4 years, the other for 10 years and they tell me the don't know if Myatt's have a tool box! Me having to raise this with Tori again and bring my OWN hammer from home with the “fork” to pull out all the nails/screws in the presence of Tori.
I really did and do care that NO-ONE gets injured by things that can be avoided! You Myatt's fields executives can afford private health care, WE volunteers rely on the broken NHS if we get injured! I am currently not even climbing a 4 step-ladder to avoid any unnecessary accidents to not have to wait 5 hours to be seen in A&E. I REALLY care that people and myself don't get hurt! Do you? Or is all this just for show to look good with the government and sponsors? For me to raise for WEEKS that there's poo smeared on the public lady's toilet wall. Raising this with Ra. as the volunteer coordinator and my direct “line manager”, who as usual just guessed that this might be under Lambeth Council, but didn't action on it whatsoever.
Me not being inducted for a year, not knowing who's who and who to report things to! Four weeks later the poo still being there and yet AGAIN going to Ra's line manager Tori to find out how this can be removed as this is not only a health risk, but plainly disgusting! Only then I was informed to pass this on to the Park Manager El. who's now also the Health and Safety Manager / interim Director.
Then it got fixed. And only then I learnt who to go to for safety issues. I could of just ignored everything like you all do! What an inconvenience I am for Myatt's. Are you not ashamed that a volunteer cared more about safety issues than staff do? Pointing out to Tori several safety issues like blocked/hidden fire extinguishers. Tori didn't seem bothered too much either and asked me what could happen fire-wise there. As I was standing next to the fridges and freezers I pointed to those and reminded Tori that Grenfell Tower fire happened from a refrigerator. Her facial expression then showed that the penny finally dropped. To have to explain to upper leadership of Myatt's that ANYTHING can happen to ANYONE at ANYTIME for ANY reason is beyond me! And the absolute MINIMUM we can do is eliminate these safety issues I mention above and below.
The kitchen oven that started the fire alarm. The following week a person from the community cooked and approached Ra. that the oven needs cleaning as it could cause a fire. Ra. just with a “shrugging-shoulder” attitude as usual saying that a professional cleaner might have to come in, and that was that. No further action or passing it on to whoever responsible to fix things. So, I passed it on again having been there the previous week when the fire alarm went off thinking they just overcooked the chicken, but now I leanrt it was due to the oven not being cleaned and covered in burnt debris. I raised this with Tori AGAIN, who to my shock then told me I shouldn't listen to the lady who cooked and raised this SERIOUS safety issue. I was shocked yet again on Myatt's apathetic attitude towards serious health and safety issues.
But as Tori saw my urgency in this, pointing out that if an EHO would visit, Myatt's would not be doing well, the Park Manager then went to work and things got fixed within short time. ONLY mentioning the government checks got the message across, NOT health and safety issues, not people potentially getting hurt. No, only government gets the message across. After everything got fixed, Myatt's then contacted Lambeth Council to do a check, and received 5 stars. Bravo! But as Fab. continued to cook despite being told not to due to poor hygiene, and me being so stupid again to raise this again, the procedure got started to get rid of me.
Let a volunteer help you put things in place that YOU Myatt's neglected, then look good in the public, and Tori leaving with a clean slate, and then get rid of me who helped you raise the standard and create a safer space for all. Are you not ashamed of yourselves?! Ra. lying across the dining room table to get a free massage from a person who occasionally volunteers but has their partner going through cancer treatment caring for family. Are you not ashamed of yourself?
Tori's words to me when I raised issues being rebuked, talked bad about, sent out as Fab. Was angry, “As long as the results come out”. In other words, as long as the mission to get vegetables and seedlings etc. to the community, you close your eyes to what your staff, especially the greenhouse manager do, no matter how upset volunteers get.
I always wondered why Fab. kept some vegetables, especially large ones out on the depot floor for weeks and weeks until they started rotting, instead of giving those to the community and/or volunteers in this cost-of-living crisis. It took me almost a year of observance that this might be because he might want to portray to Myatt's that he is “producing” vegetables, while in reality the garden outside often looked very meek.
For staff and trustees to vote to give me a letter of warning, jumping over stage 1 straight int stage 2 going against your own policy and using an “expired” (forgiven) incidence to start the procedings to get rid of me because the Health & Safety Manager was upset when I mentioned the Food Gov should I get food poisoning again. Are you not ashamed?
And then I raised a grievance on this as you went against your own policy while trying to penalise me for going agsint your policy which I didn't even know. And grievance hearing held by your new Development Manager Pat. In such a dodgy and flawed way, bombarding me with questions, some questions irrelevant to throw me off course and not get to the grievance against Myatt's itself. This was a TYPICAL toxic corporate HR hearing to protect the organisation, no matter how much the volunteer suffers. This leading me to a breakdown in the hearing as I was triggered from the workplace bullying and HR meetings I went through. The way Pat. handled the hearing was BRUTAL, cold, careless, gaslighting and flawed. No compassion from Pat. and El. the note taker who should have never been present in the meeting as she was part of the grievance. Not allowed to read and sign the hearing notes at the end of the hearing, as is usual in grievance hearings. Later that evening me contemplating to end my life and falling back into mental health problems I thought I overcame.
Are you not ashamed of yourselves?!
Finally
Maybe you paid staff, executives and trustees should humble yourselves and come down from your high horse and stop pretending to have integrity and honesty “as best as possible”. You have shown no honesty and no integrity! Maybe you should reflect on HOW any volunteer might feel and what bad treatment could do to and with them mentally and physically.
I don't pretend to have integrity and honesty “as best as I can”. I HAVE integrity and honesty! I don't need to write it down anywhere because I LIVE it!
You didn't and don't deserve volunteers like me who truly CARE about safety issues and making people feel welcome. You don't deserve volunteers in general. You don't deserve free labour in your systemic attitude towards safety issues as well as volunteers with mental and/or physical health issues. You don't deserve any of us. And I and other volunteers deserve better.
We already have no rights, no or little money, often no health. We scrap by financially and with health issues and hope that the little bit we give in our free time could help us heal somewhat. You should be ashamed!
I updated the ADHD vs Narcissism blog as this was a thorn in your eye even though I never mentioned Myatt's. I mention you now! The grievance hearing had me over the edge and gave me the final pain in my dignity and mental health struggles, and I will now speak openly.
I do again sincerely apologize for any mistakes and text/email I did. But I will also not continue apologizing.
I have lost everything dear and important to me. But I have not lost my voice, and will always use my voice after trying EVERYTHING internally. I am a free person as best as I can be in my anxieties, hopelessness, triggers, mental boundaries with PTSD … and I use whatever freedoms I have been granted under the law. And I will express myself, I will explain my struggles, I will share my traumas, my losses, my experiences until the last day.
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https://value-people.weebly.com/open-letter-to-myatts-fields-park-project.html
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I have a dream and I will revive Anthem.

Hi Reddit, I am not really used to post on social medias but I am willing to use this channel to spread my work and share my vison & my ideas with you, my dear friends gamers.
For all the players that enjoyed the game, we all know that the experience we got from Anthem was something new, unique & really refreshing. The gameplay, the movements & the combats systems are outstanding from everything we have on the MMO market.
Unfortunately, Anthem was shipped under the pressure of the well known EA Studio, and this led to main issues in the development that couldn't be fixed in time, causing the game to sink slowly until the end of its development in February 2021.

So, what's the plan, Doc ?

Well, I created a project in which I will document everything that has to change in the game & all the addition we should implement in it, so Anthem can finally be one of the best multiplayer games on the market.
However I have nothing but my audacity and you guys, to make my word and ideas flys up to BioWare's & EA Studio's ears so I have 2 plans :

1. Working with BioWare & EA : I don't want them to develop the game again, we know EA, they have a very greedy vision of the gaming industry, it's working (sometimes) but it's definitely not what I want for Anthem. I want, if possible to take the project lead & work in hands with the community (you), to create the best possible MMO out of Anthem. If this community grow, and start to make noise I will be able to send them a strong message probably leading to a potential agreement.
2. Buy Anthem from BioWare & EA : I can develop a community, here, with your help & look for a fundraiser to buy Anthem from EA & BioWare, the game is not developed anymore so the price should be way less expensive than it should normally be, + I am pretty sure this game is a sort of "shame" for them so selling it sounds like a win win scenario since the rebuy will give them more money than Anthem will ever do in this state.

Now you guys are probably thinking : "Bro became crazy, he don't know what he is talking about".
You are probably right, but I won't stop until the full project is on the table and all my ideas expressed, I will go to the end of my vision and I won't let anything stop me from it.

Okay, but where do we start then ?

From what I realized, the real problem with Anthem was not the gameplay, but everything behind it, loot system, stat system, lake of things to do, activities being very repetitive & ennemies scaling just feeling terrible (health bags).
So in order to make the game great again I decided to segment each part of the game to work on the one by one and solve their issues.
During my journey, I will focus on 3 main axis :

• Listing every know issues & bugs in the game. (your help is welcome)
• Draft a list of reworking regarding every aspects of the game :

1. UI
2. Gameplay
3. Loot (rewards)
4. AI
5. Items
6. Ability System
7. Quests
8. End Game Content
9. and even more to come...

• New content addition. Yes, I am willing to create a DLC for the launch of the project, since only fixing the game is a beginning, we want to get players back by giving them a new experience to play.

Listing all these change will serve as a to do list & an explanation of "why the game was not working before", and of course, why he will after.

Where do we go after this ?

First case scenario : When all the ideas are on paper, clearly explained with a realistic plan of action (creation of a business plan aswell to "sell" the project properly), I will then try to reach BioWare & EA to talk with them about the project, hopefully this community will grow so I will have your backup to proof the project has a lot of potential.
Second case scenario : I will put all the ideas on paper, create all the prototype, and once it done also create a business plan to start a fundraising. Once again with this community growing in the process we can maybe hope for investors support to buy Anthem from EA & BioWare's and start the rework of the game after this.

Okay so now you have the game what's next ?

The goal is either to work in hand with BioWare and finance a team from the studio to continue the development with this new vision, or I will hire a and gather a dev team, as well as story crafting team and every other sub section the game need in order to match my expectations. This 2nd solution is by far the hardest but if it is what it takes to bring back this game to live, I will do it.

Thanks you !

I really thanks you if you made it this far, I am really glad people have interest on this and I can't wait to share the work I am doing with you !
To start with fixed objectives and deadlines, I will do my best to publish once per week an update on the project, it could either be an image or a video depending on the subject I cover.
Once again, thanks gamers, I will catch you next week for the first update.
Much love,
Wildrize
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Also there’s another shirt that I can’t find again to save my life o saw it on TikTok a while ago I think it was an ad but it was like a blue top that said italia and was like a cap sleeve and had like 2 stripes on each sleeve if that makes since and to clarify it wasn’t and Jersey every time I look it up it pulls up jerseys it’s not but yeah srry if that’s a sucky example